Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
