the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
