I hate your face
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
