She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
