my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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