I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
