you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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