Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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