your thong is hanging out like whoa
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
