Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
