She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
