You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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