Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
