HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
