But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
