So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
