Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
