I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
