For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I believe in your delicious
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
