so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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