I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
