He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
