all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
