is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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