Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
