Betty ford says i'm here all night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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