I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
