my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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