just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
