I wanna passion pit in your ass
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I love you.
Bad choice
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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