FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
