I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
