You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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