my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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