a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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