There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
