I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
