thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
