she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
