It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
