i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
