How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
