I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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