So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
