Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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