you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
