i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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