Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
