its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's no shave November. This is our time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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