it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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