Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I smell like Dick and happiness
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
